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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Up Yours Ben Franklin

Last week I had a dream that every boy I've ever had a crush on was marching in a straight line to Canada to get cheapo Lasik surgery and thus ditching their hottie mchothot glasses forever. In the middle of the dream Ben Franklin kind of floated up from nowhere and said with a smug grin, "I'm Ben Franklin. I invented the bifocal and even I'm going to Canada for Lasik." And then he laughed. That motherfuckin forefather laughed directly in my face. I had the same dream again last night and both times I woke up with my jaw clenched in anger at both Canada and Ben Franklin. As far as I can tell, boys in glasses are our nation's number one natural resource.

4 Comments:

At 6:59 PM, Blogger /brandon\ said...

i came into a bit of money a few years back, and my wife said, 'YOU SHOULD GET LASIK.' she said it just sort of offhand, as if it wasn't the most hurtful, offensive thing you could say, like if i were to say, 'hey, mr. kennedy, i think i have a great idea for that final chapter of that autobiography you're working on,' and i looked at her and said, "WHY DO YOU HURT ME!"

i already checked, and there isn't a lasik service that actually CAUSES nearsightedness and therefore a NEED for glasses, which just makes no kind of sense to me at all.

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger d said...

i think our other greatest resource might be tabloid vag...KIDDING.

 
At 7:14 PM, Anonymous Smoove D said...

The problem is, I think you might be the only woman in the country that thinks that.

 
At 6:16 PM, Blogger TC said...

I disagree with smoove. Boys in glasses are HOT!

 

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