Update From The South
Greetings! I'm in Virginia on business. I have been for the past two weeks and frankly it's been a complete whirlwind packed to the gills with adventures. In the past two weeks I've forged relationships and officially shut down others, moved three different people out of their apartments, attended a hairbanger's ball, met the sister I didn’t know existed until I was 18, went to a wedding reception where there was a slip-n-slide, went down said slip-n-slide in my dress, received multiple high fives and a few disapproving looks because of the aforementioned formal slip-n-slide incident of ought 7, waited six hours to see this DJ and danced until 2AM at some club outside of the University of Virginia (it was totally 100% worth the wait), had a number of awkward interactions with boys in glasses (one of whom actually told me, “I went as Google Maps for Halloween last year. I bought a globe and I made this shirt that has layers of maps on it. Like you look at it and you see a huge map of the US, then you pull up one layer and it's just a map of Virginia and another layer and it's a closer map. I went as a viral internet video the year before.” I thought that surely the sprinkler systems would go off from all the verbal hotness in the room.), fell in love with pumpkin steamers from Starbucks despite the fact that they sound like dirty sexual maneuvers, sold all of my dead aunt’s things...it was tremendously sad, saw a tiny Statue of Liberty replica that looks like the kind of thing one would only erect if the original SOL was destroyed in a world war and humanity needed a saddening reminder that we once had a strong nation with reality TV and freedom fries, connected with friends I haven’t seen in years, had seedy TMI-themed conversations with several family members, cried, laughed, screamed, fallen apart, put myself back together, fallen apart again, read some science fiction, and did a lot of healing. It’s been insanely hard and insanely healthy all at the same time. When I said that last line to a friend in Chicago during a long catch-up conversation last night, she replied with “like a vitamin-filled enema?” Life of late has been like a vitamin-filled enema. I think that was the original tagline to Forrest Gump.
Stories from Virginia adventures will have to come later. For the time being, I have limited internet access and a mountain of work on my plate. In the meantime, go have a few adventures yourself internet, write them all down, and fill my inbox with tales of triumphs and tears. As Vin Diesel says in xXx, “I live for this shit.”