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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Conversations From Today

Homeless Guy: Hey young lady, my car is broken down and I need some change to get home to my wife. She's dying of cancer and I really need to get home. Do you have any change?

Me: Sure. [hands over $0.32]

HG: I see you're not wearing a ring.

Me: Um...no

HG: You're not married?

Me: No

HG: Girl, what's your address? I'd like to come visit you sometime.

Me: What about your "wife?*"

[Really long pause, at least two full minutes. The longer silence went on, the longer stood there just for spite.]

HG: Well...she act like my wife, but we're not really...um...besides, she'll be dead soon anyway.

And they say good men are hard to find.

* This was the first time in months that I had an excuse to use finger quotes. I don't have to tell you how exciting that was.



At 11:58 PM, Blogger /\ said...


The only people who say good men are hard to find are terminally ill wives.


At 1:53 PM, Blogger UltraCrepidarian said...

Ask him what his wife's phone number is, and pull out your cell phone. And dial whatever number he gives you.




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