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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Friday, August 10, 2007

Confession

Hey Maura:

I'll see your confession and raise you this:

In the seventh grade I made up a boyfriend named Roger because, you know, Roger is a really contemporary name for my generation. Roger was in high school and drove a motorcycle and was really into making out and buying me Hello Kitty pencil cases. Roger was especially hot because he was not into looking at Stacy Hawk's big dumb boobs unlike my sixth grade boyfriend. I spent the majority of that year drawing ROGER IS MY BOYFRIEND AND NOT YOURS on my shoes and carefully crafting steamy details about our relationship that included things like "Roger likes to kiss me with his hot face" and "Roger and I sometimes read books and then French." Sometimes I think that Roger and I's relationship was one of the healthiest I've ever had.

Your turn internet. Leave deliciously guilty confessions in the comments or e-mail me the extra seedy ones.

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4 Comments:

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Did his hot face smell good?

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger Maura said...

I had a friend in fourth grade who convinced me she had a hot seventh grade boyfriend. When I came over to her house she'd be on the phone with him, but he'd always have to go.

She even convinced me that he had a friend for me and I got my parents to drive us to the mall to meet these hot hot middle schoolers who had a thing for 9 year olds.

Needless to say they never showed. I probably cried in my bedroom and told a giant likeness of Michael Jordan all about it.

 
At 1:18 AM, Blogger Chris said...

That is exactly why we are friends.

 
At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 27 years old and I still have imaginary friends that I tell my real friends about so that they think my life is more exciting. My imaginary friends hang out with people in the fashion world that talk shit about Paris and Lindsey and that they are horrible, unintelligent clients. I need a life.

 

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