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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Open Letter

Dear Maternity Store I Passed Tonight:

Your window display scares the shit out of me.



I'm not sure if this child is trying to suckle the armless mannequin or if the mannequin just can't defend itself, you know, given the armless situation and all. I am sure that the idea of a child that big trying to aggressively suckle me or anyone else in a retail display window is definitely the creepiest thing on earth...and this is coming from someone who was once hit on by a pedophile. Next time, I suggest letting taxidermy animals do your selling for you. Just a thought.

---Chris---

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14 Comments:

At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So you equate breastfeeding with pedophilia. Nice.
That child mannequin is relatively large, but what if the kid was smaller? Would that meet with your approval?

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger BellaLinda said...

You might want to see a psychiatrist about that.

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous nessa said...

A. It's spelled "maternity".

B. I know you were you trying to be clever & funny, but all you are doing is exposing your ignorance.

Breastfeeding is natural and normal.

 
At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does it freak you out because you're just not ready for children or does the actual act of breastfeeding freak you out? I say hooray to this store for trying to normalize the site of a nursing babe.

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're dumb. Your blog is dumber. Find something worthwhile to be sarcastic about.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Yeah, it is maternity...with an e. I missed that one, but it's changed now. My condolences.

Also, I'm not freaked out by the act of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is fine by me. I'm freaked out by the faceless child large enough to plow a small field that's aggressively manhandling a headless mannequin. That kid is old enough to be in middle school and if it had a face, I'm sure it'd be yelling "FEEEEEEEEED ME SEYMOUR!!!!!"

Breastfeeding is peaceful and tender and awesome. That display is the stuff nightmares are made of.

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Chad said...

I'm not really sure what all the rage is about here. The picture in question is of a child who resembles your average teenager who seems to be searching for milk under mommy's blouse. The problem is not in the breastfeeding itself; we all know that breastfeeding is natural and healthy and all that fun stuff. The point Chris was trying to make is that the child breastfeeding is not an infant.

IT LOOKS LIKE ITS 14 FUCKING YEARS OLD.

And when you're 14, the tit gets cut off.

Go find another soap box to stand on, people. It's a creepy picture. Just because the picture in question happens to be related to breastfeeding does not mean the person making the observation is ignorant.

-Chad
www.chokeychicken.com

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Hey, I was there, too. That kid is way too big to be breast feeding. You have to question the thought process of a store that would rather just use a full-grown child mannequin in a window display instead of splurging on the smaller model for a better sense of realism.

I'm pretty sure the point here isn't that Couch thinks all breast-feeders are pedophiles. That's a bit of a jump even for you, you faceless internet pro-breast-feeding trolls.

 
At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

After your response I can totally see where you're coming from now, Chris. At first I thought you were against seeing the breastfeeding in the window, but now that I know you're just creeped out by the faceless mannequin nursing a teenager, it all makes sense :o) So, yay breastfeeding and nay creepy faceless mannequins! And the only reason I'm posting as anonymous is because I can't for the life of me remember my blogger password because I neglect my blogspot.

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Also, for the record, I'm pretty sure Couch is a girl. I could be wrong, but my senses have never failed me in that department (you know, the detecting whether or not someone is female department) before.

 
At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, I don't think anyone is saying that this must have been written by a man. Hang on, let me check the comments. Nope, nowhere does it say anything about a man. So, what's your point?

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Oh you. Is someone just a little upset because I called them a troll? Who's a lovable little troll? Who's my big huggable teddy bear of a troll?

 
At 2:53 AM, Anonymous Terra said...

They put things like that in windows? That's frightening!

I'm not sure if it's the lack of head and arms on the "mommy" mannequin, or if it's the faceless teenager with flaying arms that appears to be attacking the mannequins breast...either way, it's alarming.

Real breastfeeding doesn't look like that. It doesn't cause my eyebrows to rise to alarming heights, either.

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger zuzula said...

hi, just passing. the window dresser is a comedy genius - i hope he/she realises that!

 

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