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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Richmond Wrap-Up: Where the Run-On Sentence Rulez

This past week has been a delightful blur. There was moving out to be done and grandmothers to visit and ladies nights to be had and sushi to be consumed by the boatload with friends. It was fantastic and exhausting, so much so that it made me doubt why I would ever want to leave such a fantastic and exhausting place. But I did leave and despite the warnings from my mother that I would get raped/pillaged/stabbed/shot/bilked/bearded/mauled by cougars, I actually drove out to Chicago on one piece. In fact, the most threatening thing I saw on my drive was a sweaty middle school kid in a Subway gas station in PA who had the single most righteous crustache on God's green earth - the kind of crustache that's full enough to catch a crumb or two...which it had...but transparent enough to show pimpled skin underneath. Also it was reddish-blonde and really long and the kid kept sort of running his fingers through it in the way that you would run your fingers through the hair of someone you were about to make desperate don't-even-wait-until-we're-in-the-bed-let's-just-do-it-
right-here-standing-up-against-this-door love to.

The Crustache Paramour, as I nicknamed him in my head, that kid kept stroking his pseudo-stache and saying phrases like "I mean it this time baby girl, I DO love you" into his cell phone. Look lady on the other end of that phone - friends don't let friends date crustaches, even during puberty. I'm pretty sure that's a commandment. If it's not, then it should be. Frankly, I don't want to belong to any religion where the crustache isn't punished by swift execution. Some call it unfair. I call it justice.

Even with the Crustache Paramour tempting me to spend all day in PA watching him and giggling to myself, I eventually did make it out to Chicago and it is awesome...even awesomer than I remembered it being. Yesterday when I was sitting on the beach of Lake Michigan (which is awesome in both the totally righteous and really big senses), sipping a weird Chinese smoothie thing and listening to The Kooks, I wanted to go up to every single person who lives here and kiss them on their sweet foreheads. I've only been here for 36 hours or so and already I've played semi-drunken wii, invented a victory dance Steve and company dubbed 'The Meathole,' snuck into a rib fest, and saw some band called Baby Teeth who would have been great if they had pyrotechnics and released some doves and snakes on stage. This weekend there are air guitar shows to be seen and pretentious drinks to be had. A friend is coming to town and I'm anxious to watch this place cover him in a thick coating of Awesome Sauce. Come and visit Richmond, life is good up north.



At 1:36 PM, Blogger David said...

You picked a good time to move. The summers here are beyond awesome, because the other half of the year sucks in ways you can't even begin to imagine. All balances out in the end.

At 5:19 PM, Blogger d said...

i felt the exact same way this weekend.

festivals and the beach and WII all just downright rule.


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