How I Got My Groove Back - Rather, How My Groove Was Given Back to Me By a Freakish Stranger
Last Thursday I took in the greatest episode of Oprah ever, followed by Thai food, followed by a play - scratch that - a free play, followed by seeing a friend's band play...it was almost too much goodness to handle in one night. As a surprisingly good southern rock band belted out Skynard-esque songs and White Guy Dancing Syndrome (WGDS) began claiming victims one by one, I began thinking that life really couldn't get better than this and that the rest of the weekend was bound to be disappointing. And it did start off that way, with a slow day at work on Friday followed by a brief domestic spat (in which I may or may not have told Chris to get out of the room I was in then cried when he really did get out of the room I was in) followed by an even more writers-blocky day on Saturday followed by sweaty-palmed run-in with this man who kind of hates me at a service station. (There was a lot of "So..." followed by long, unbreakable silences as both of us waited for our cars to get fixed. At one point, the guy even said, "Cars, they need fixing, eh?" and looked at me like, "Whaddayuhgonnado?" with an air of "Rot in hell you hateful bitch" thrown in.) Run-on sentences - yee haw.
All seemed lost until tonight when I ventured to get our mail and I noticed something neon outside. I walked out on our porch and lo and behold, there was a girl wearing a ruffled jean skirt, neon turquoise leggings, brown cowboy boots, and a neon-orange haltar top with a smaller halter top on top of it, just standing beneath a streetlamp outside my door all by herself as if to say, "I'm waiting here in this ridiculous clown outfit to cheer you up." In a flash, I went through the cycle of denial-guilt-anger-acceptance with regards to those leggings and then I learned to let it flow through me like rain and I couldn't help but feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid life*...and for neon leggings. And just to cheer you people up, a neon legging montage.
*Last part may or may not have been from the Academy award-winning film, American Beauty.