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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Funeral

26 weeks ago, the first of my friends got pregnant. Not just any friends, perhaps two of the most mature, prepared, loving people I have ever been lucky enough to meet. After moving from a foreign city where families are started much later in life to the good old American South where at least 80% of my friends have the house, the ring, the dog, and in some cases, the physical white picket fence too, I have been anticipating the “I’m pregnant and we’re both very excited about it” call for months now along with all the weirdness that would come when friends first start making people.

When you live life for yourself and your own selfish whims, and a friend is living their life for the good of someone else, there will inevitably be a shortage of common ground. Disregarding the sharp change in nighttime activities, having a child is such a beautiful, momentous, terrifying adventure for those involved that it’s hard to relate if the most difficult thing you did with your day was fill up your car with gas. What did you do today? Ate ice cream and thought about who the cutest captain of the Enterprise was, by the way, it's totally Picard. What did you do today? Celebrated the friggin miracle of life and worked tirelessly to raise a small part of the next generation of humans...Booyah. People with kids (rightfully) always have the trump card whereas people without kids tend to have better shoes.

Today I got to hear my friends speak of their child growing up, of teaching him to drive, to fish, to respect others, to become a giving and thoughtful person and a part of something much larger than himself. Songs were played and letters were read. Tears were shed and hugs were given, in part because we really didn't know what else to do. Everyone who attended today's service tried, as best as could be expected, to celebrate that child’s short 26-week life through photos and prayer while trying to show his devastated parents how much we truly love them as well. And there when all was finished, there was a weirdness, but there was no lack of common ground.

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