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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Statistics on Being Home

Number of times I cried on the flight back: 1, but only because I was seated next to a 13 year old Isreali boy who told me about all the bombings he had seen and how he wasn't scared of turbulence at all. I will NOT be schooled by a 13 year old boy.

Number of people who greeted us at the airport: 9

Most touching 'home' moment: the gigantic banner my family hand-painted and stretched across the yard (photos coming)

Amount of time it took to hear a Nelly song: 46 minutes

Weirdest part about being home: Completely vertical walls. What? There was a time when I lived in a place with 4 90 degree walls?

Stupidest thought I've had so far: "Isn't it weird that all of these people speak English? Does asking that question make me a Euro asshole?"

Number of times I've had to suppress myself from telling a France story because it's sounded too pretentious: 7

Best thing anyone has asked me thus far: "Awwww yeah, are you ready to get crunk?" ~my ridiculously whitebred 13 year old nephew just before I kicked his ass in a game of cards.

Worst faux-pas I've committed so far: Using the phrase "it's not like your mom died or anything" to someone who's mother actually did die.

Thing I miss most about La France: All the weirdos. Today I went to a subpar cafe and I didn't see one transvestite, street performer, degenerate, fashionista, purse snatcher, carpet bagger, renaissance fair attendant, or person dressed like their dog. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with this country?


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