An Illustration of How Much I've Lost It
Chris (the boy) is working an insane number of hours as am I (I don't know if I've mentioned that 56,765 times on this site before). We've both kind of adopted this homeless person mentality wherein we fall asleep anywhere we can find wearing our ironically-named "street" clothes, then getting up and immediately returning back to the proverbial drawing board. Our house is an air condition-less wreck, we both fight a losing battle with perma-stench, and the refrigerator...oh lawdy don't even get me started about that (hint: smells like Grim Reaper breath...like the people, French cheese will turn on you like that [imagine be snapping my fingers and giving you a merciless scowl and maybe even a menacing finger-point if you like]).
How exhausted we both are (him MUCH more so than me) has turned into a comedic series of half-conversations that start out normal, but then end with out-of-nowhere questions like "do you think I suck at life? I mean, be honest here" (anyone who has to ask their significant other if they "suck at life" automatically does, that really should set you up for the climactic conclusion of this story) or it ends with hysterical laughter at something that isn't funny at all.
Today I was eating bread with cheese (as I am wont to do) and I found myself holding the bread more like a cigarette and less like a delicious semi-meal. For some reason, I thought that the image of someone smoking a piece of bread with cheese on it was funny. Not just funny, hilarious. Not just hilarious, so hilarious that a photo of that image needs to be taken just so the original hilarity of the idea can be relived at any moment of the day and shown to the boyfriend upon his arrival home. I mean, what's not TOTALLY HILARIOUS about that huh? HUH? 1 glorious nap later (after having a dream involving a friend from high school and shrapnel...I don't know either), I woke up to realize that the only thing lamer than thinking bread-smoking is funny is posting about it online, so here you go. I call this one: For God Sakes Take A Nap Woman!.