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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Saturday, April 30, 2005

I Know This Post is Weak, So Your Comments of 'This Post Is Totally Weak' Will Only Be Acknowledged With A Snide Look

The BF and I lose our sweet visas in August, so we're kind of forced to come home...well...the visa thing AND the fact that this city is ridiculously expensive. The BF and I are currently experiencing the what-the-hell-are-we-going-to-do-now/for-the-rest-of-our-lives/
sweet-shit-I've-been-with-the-same-person-for-25%-of-my-life-and-
I-may-never-see-anyone-else-naked-ever-again-and-while-I'm-on-the-
subject-I'm-only-23-and-why-is-it-so-hot-and-awkward-in-here-suddenly thing. Instead of writing that terribly long phrase over and over, I'm just going to say, life over the past few days has been a freakout hellbus. In lieu of a real post (because you people don't want to hear about small people stomping around angrily or hands being thrown up in mellodramatic dismay...as a friend said directly after seeing Hotel Rwanda...you know...the film about THE GENOCIDE OF NEARLY ONE MILLION PEOPLE..."that's a real downer"), please find below an immature photo I took in London and journal/personal letter excerpts from June 3, 2004 - present. Enjoy.


I call this "Humor Circa Grade Six"

"Smacking other people's children should not be looked down upon."

"People in great hats should automatically be upgraded to first class. In case of an unexpected influx of great hats, all wearers get a free shot of tequila."

"Signs of suspicious activity in an airport: leaving a bag unattended while you pace, far, far away.
Proof you're not worthy of suspicion: reaching in said bag to unwrap cookies and letting the crumbs get caught in your beard.
Further proof: Eating said crumbs directly from your beard."

"A man in a Member's Only jacket is getting searched by security right now. You and I both know that if you're sporting a Members Only jacket in 2005, you're clearly not a terrorist. Other things that should prove you're not a terrorist include:
*A snuff box filled with Big League Chew
*Clothing with 'flame designs' on it
*Man-pris"

"Gideon Yago is a hot man and although I've never seen him from the waist down and he could very well have crab-like robot legs, I would kiss his sweet metal legs with the same amount of tenderness that I would the rest of his body. Don't worry, I would kiss your crab-like robot legs too, you know, if you had them."

I'm just sayin, I can't prove that he doesn't have robot legs. I can only hope.

1 Comments:

At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post is totally weak.

 

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