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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Cream of Sum Yung Gai

I get a good bit of spam mail. Most of it kindly offers to find me a perfect mortgage or special deals on products that will enlarge my penis (which is huge as is, so really, let's not guild a lily). Some of it offers me dream vacations and lovely asian women to accompany me. Still others are more forward and just offer me FETI$H SLUTZ IN ACTION CUM $EE NOW!@^&%*^#. In these offers, use of the shift key is the only real action you can see without a credit card.

If, say, hypothetically you wanted to Google Image search "pictures of slutz" because you were interested in whether slutz with a z would get you pictures featuring more actual sluts than sluts spelled with an s, you might, hypothetically, come up with something like this:

These guys have 'slutz' written all over them.

I like to think that this guy with the wand is in the process of organizing and motivating slutz this very moment. I also like the fact that he wears a name tag.

In all fairness, the image actually shown was a house, where I figured all the slutz lived, but then you click on said house and you get this sexual hurricane showing off his fine, fine collection of glossy telephone books.

In my head, this cat has a Texan accent and refers to the vagina solely as 'the fukkin goon-ya.' [Try to stretch that phrase out over as many syllables as you can to get the proper effect]. As you can see, we've caught him in a moment of intense goon-ya focus.


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