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Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing

Sunday, November 21, 2004

If you are as cheap as I am (cheap in the don't-have-money sense, not cheap in the passing-it-out-like-sweet-candy sense), you would rather spend your precious Euros on stuff like rent, heat, and the occassional movie out, rather than on basic hygene necessities, such as haircuts. In Paris, a haircut (for a woman) will run you anywhere from $40 to $100. If this were a TV show and you, reader(s?), were my studio audience, there would be a glowing neon sign telling you to say, "Now that's a lot of dollars" in an emphatic voice. I'll give you a chance to practice.

Ok....

Go.

True, that is a lot of dollars, dollars that could be used for cafe cremes or berets or museum tickets or any of the other things I'm supposed to have bought, but haven't. To avoid spending all my dollars on haircuts, there's a salon here that will give you free "fashion" haircuts if you act as a hair model. Since nothing I have ever done in my life could ever be truthfully described as fashionable, I'm doing my research so I can show them exactly what I want.

Here's where the fun comes in. Go to Google.com, select Google image, search "good haircuts." If you came up with this picture of a young boy looking suspicious in a witch's hat, displaying fashion neither in his dress nor haircut, you've found exactly what I did. Instead of haircuts either fashionable or otherwise, what I did find was Industrial Strength Machine Music, a pensive man in a hat, the predecessors to Queer Eye, and an obvious Howdy Doody fan.

Google, why hast thou forsaken me? The closest thing I found to anything resembling a haircut was this and honestly, I don't think I have the neck to carry it off.

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